Sarah and me, were the students of BS Hons. (Third year), when she brought the news of her proposal with her cousin Ammar. I was glad over this news, because Sarah and Ammar were both into a relation. From Sarah, once I came to know that they both had been longing for approval of Ammar’s family. After an era of 5 years, now they were in an officially- announced state of relationship. I congratulated her.
She was fortunate enough to receive good wishes from the classmates.
‘When are you going to be tied up??’ was the most frequent question I witnessed. ‘Just before semester examinations’, she announced. We all leapt out to ask her… ‘Think again yara (dear), don’t make mess of your studies…you are such a good student’ and all the advices to make her rethink about the wedding dates.
She was all happy with the satisfaction of ‘round #01 completion’. She preferred listening to good wills, blessings of good fortune and all about her wedding. I kept observing her expressions and then pulled her a side, ‘didn’t you do the hardships to acquire Masters’ degree? And now you are leaving in the middle way…..’
She was content enough to neglect my interrogations too. The very next day, she whispered in my ear and suddenly I turned to notice her, she is going to quit this on-going semester and would join the next with us.
Like a perfect Desi girl, she presented herself to the consent of her parents first, making the things possible in her way.
And then finally the day arrived, destined not only for the two souls but also for the families to be bonded. She was the super-shy-beauty being captured on her wedding. She submitted her confession thrice to get tied up in wedlock with Ammar in the Nikkah Ceremony. Her farewell brought tears in every eye and she was gone, leaving behind the loved ones and the memories.
Marriage is like a toss, head you win, tail you lose.
In our society, girl on the other hand whether choses ‘head’ or ‘tail’, she has to kneel down to be a successful player. Marriage may be ‘love’ or ‘super-arranged’, but it has one thing in common, that it is ‘Marriage’ after all.
It’s not always that a girl is fortunate to have a mother-in-law like mother, father-in-law like father and a husband as a true companion. In every possible manner, she has to build her world with every inch of brick, keeping a smile on her face. With everything she finds inconvenience, she has to swallow down to mould with her love.
For this purpose, the luggage she receives from her parents happily on the name of ‘new life’s stuff’ however does not measure the painstaking efforts of her parents to make her see content with her better-half.
Worthy is not the cost of the dowry, but the presence of life on their princess’ face.
On the name of ‘her happiness’, having received willingly, materialistic temptation does not end and grows higher and higher up till the conditional claims on leaving her (divorce or separation for long), sound. A new life embroidered with narrow-mindedness, taunting, teasing, turmoil, and all kinds of abuse, shake their newly-built foundations. To the maximum extent, a girl stretches her boat (married-life) towards the coast, but fails sometimes doing single-handedly and so she loses, while many of them, devote their lives for the appraisal.
All the blame and failure, drop down to her. Explaining and rectifying and re-rectifying, she surrenders herself and thus shatters to meet the enormous demands. Her life becomes a miserable cage, where she is unable to find herself. Within a broken being, she gropes to find the missing bits to rebuild herself, stronger than ever.
Back to Sarah
Sarah was seen a year later, with a girl of months in her hands, trying to acquire for her enrolment for the final semester. One of the classmates pointed her ‘Is that Sarah, let’s make a loud call to check….’. She received the call and returned to respond. What we saw was a dim lady with a thin physic, who smiled in the same way and waved at us.
Freed from the procedures, sat with us and introduced her little angel ‘Mantasha’, a pink-cheeked innocent soul with broadened twinkling eyes. We adored the baby, and asked about her, when she bursts into tears and was unable to cope up with her pain, said that her married life is no longer and she is at her parents’ with her young one.
She faced the term ‘compromise’ at each step till the extent of violence broke her ankle-bone. There were daily dose of fights prepared by Ammar’s mother. She never accepted her as his son’s wife and kept on brain-washing his son, as she wanted to bring her sister’s girl as ‘bahu’, daughter-in-law. Sarah seemed weak and teased, yet hopeful to rejuvenate her energies from where she left.
Why am I sharing this?
This is how girls never think of themselves as humans and keep sacrificing their dreams and needs, to attain the happiness and up-gradation in others eyes. But they can never receive it, by down grading themselves.
What to do instead?
Life is all about living with heads up, it’s never to be kept as per the wishes of people. All those relations are loyal, which never let you down. With you they stand! Relations are not meant only by blood or love yet feelings and humanity construct the name of ‘relation’.
She loves selfies because she believes in her identity and wants to be a 'known writer'.
'' From where they reject, I accept''
You may like to check her portfolio here.
Latest posts by Shumaila Khan (see all)
- Pelleted Destiny of Kashmiris and bloody hands of India!! - October 24, 2016
- Empowered to lose ethics? - October 7, 2016
- Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini - September 27, 2016