“101 Ways to Master Inner Peace” is the story of failure, rejection, anxiety attacks and broken heart. It is also the story of picking oneself up, not giving up, holding to single piece of hope, getting back on track with extra energy and seeking positivity in the darkest hours.”
Hello everyone, I am Unaiza Khalid. I am finally in a state of mind to share with you all the story of my failure and the time that left me devastated.
Let me start from the beginning and I promise I will not bore you. 😉
The Humble Beginning in Achieving Inner Peace
It was in the summer of 2000, when I got the report card of my first semester exams of fifth grade in the school I was admitted to a few months before (we moved to that city because of father’s job.) I started crying after having a look at the result, you know why? Because I stood 14th in class when I was always the topper in the previous school I went to. The teacher encouraged me not to lose heart and told me that I was competitive enough to hold a better position in the following semester. I took her advice to heart and worked like hell and secured top second position in the following exams.
That was me my entire life: competitive, efficient, hard worker, goal getter and a winner. I always enjoyed the positions of the topper in school, the apple of the eyes of parents & teachers, an inspiration for friends & siblings and a well-known topper of the school. The school life ended with securing third position in my tenth grade among thousands of my batch-mates.
There was definitely blood and sweat struggle but the point is that I always always got what I aimed for!
Fast Forward after Graduation
So, I gladly graduated with a degree I was really passionate about: Telecom Engineering. “Woo hoo, I am officially an engineer!”
Another success to my long list of achievements, I thought.
Little did I know that this was a dead end.
An end that’s gonna haunt me for the rest of my life.
So, why is it a nightmare?
Well, the country we currently live in does not have any telecom related jobs for girls! Seriously, it was the most disappointing fact that I ever came across with.
I tried for months!!! 10 to be exact. 🙁
There was nothing I repeat nothing I could do, failure utter failure, the feeling of unworthiness, the feeling of uselessness, the feeling of despair, depression, dejection and most of all the fact that I am capable, just tore me apart.
Just to share my exact mental condition, let me share with you an instance.
It was just another day when I was picking up dishes after dinner. I had some trash in one hand and a bowl of leftover dinner. I had to empty the leftovers in the cooking pot and place the trash in the garbage. You know what I did? I emptied the trash in the pot and leftovers in the garbage.
Believe me it’s just the glimpse of how lost I was. I got more forgetful. I got more emotional. I was always angry. And worst of all there was not a single day I went to sleep without crying!
No, I didn’t Consult Any Psychiatrist
Yes that’s right, I cured myself on my own (with much help from family and friends, of course), but never a professional help.
I carved out my own path. Looking closely to what worked and what did not. It was really long and painful journey, but trust me, there was not a single one who knew exactly what I am going through. I just never wanted to show the pain (that’s how I am.) I can’t make friends and family worried you know.
But years from then, I can proudly say that I succeeded in the quest of inner peace hunting. I succeeded in getting my old self back. Mostly, I succeeded in getting my life back. 🙂
I have already discussed in great detail the life hacks that helped me out in conquering my life in a previous article, which you can read here. So I won’t be going through them again, instead I am going to share today step by step method of what I did that helped (skipping what didn’t).
I Opened a New Door
Nipping the evil in the bud? That’s the first step. My problem was that all the doors were closed for the degree that I had, so I gained new knowledge, of my interest of course. I did some courses, went back to my home town for some experience, worked tirelessly and paved a path for myself.
Now, I have known people who take their lives if the dreams they are seeking are not fulfilled. I never wanted to give the pain to my family, plus I know my Lord won’t be happy with me, too.
Most of all: I wanted to prove that I am not a failure.
I Quit Comparing Myself
So, I knew my class fellows are doing pretty well for themselves in different parts of the world. I couldn’t just leave my parents and family. I am a family centric girl. So I just admitted that I have a different story then them and I shouldn’t compare myself with them in order to have complete peace within.
I Completely Disconnected!
Oh yes. You read right, I totally disconnected myself from all social media channels. Seeing everyone succeed was just not what I could tolerate at that point in life. I literally deactivated all the accounts until the time I was ready. I knew that if I have to master self-discipline and listen to my inner voice, I must not let any negativity surround me. Anything that could trigger falsehood was a big NO-NO.
I Concentrated on Single Thing: “Myself”
So, I wanted to lose weight for years, but there was nothing always just so much to do. Now that I had no goal to pursue I concentrated solely on myself and lost 18 kilos.
It turned out that this was the best thing I could have done to stir positivity and give my self-development a boost.
How? Well, according to researchers exercising or any physical activity can instantly upgrade self-esteem. It is due to the hormones Endorphins that are increased in the body after physical activity. These hormones are responsible for diminishing the sensitivity to pain. Thus, exercising helps in warding off anxiety, improving better sleep and reducing stress, which is what I actually wanted.
I Took 101 Other Steps & Improved them Gradually
Loosing oneself and finding him/her again is never an easy task. It’s easily said than done to just let go of the pain and time will heal everything. Only someone who has actually gone through it, felt it and survived, exactly knows the hardest struggles that come with winning the inner peace back, winning yourself back and of getting up after falling.
But once I started the journey and started seeing results as well, there was nothing stopping me. I failed again (oh yes, a million times) but I had made a system that wouldn’t let me wander in the failure realm for long. I had made myself unstoppable by then.
You know what was the biggest motivation along the way? I wanted to set an example. I wanted to inspire people. I wanted to be a living example that what they say about luck and fate was wrong! I wanted to prove that we are the creator of our fate, that we are the best of creation. We can be, no should be, more than just a pursuer of a single dream. We should bring ourselves above all what they say and carve the path that suits us.
And yeah, I did have those family boundaries (I am not a born princess, you see.) I am just a normal person. I am somebody everyone can relate to. And I am here to help. 🙂
Today, I feel so blessed to say that I have a complete grip over my emotions (at least 95% of the time.) While speaking, I am always in control of my words and actions. even when I know I am wrong, it takes me minutes to realize it and change my attitude. In short, I have learnt the skill of having the right attitude towards things still in hand, or the rare gift of Inner Peace.
The complete pack of “101 ways to master inner peace” full of practical advises and quotes can be found in my latest book. Grab your copy before it’s all out (just kidding lol 😉 ). I have kept it super cheap (just $0.99), so anyone and everyone from anywhere in the world can afford it. My purpose is to help, pick up anyone who is fallen or who is struggling.
The book is generally written for all spheres of life, for every gender and for all age groups.
Just let me know in the comment section down below, what do you guys think of my struggle? I hope you got some inspiration. Keep coming back for more.
I wish you all happy, contended life dazzling with inner peace. 🙂
Pssstttt here is a sneak peak of some ways to get your life on the track. 😉
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